A Collection of Inuyasha's Shorts, Part Deux!
by sentinel28
Summary: FINALLY he updates! Rin catches Sesshoumaru up to something, and wants to know what it is. How will he explain? A sugary confection of a story for all you Fluffy and Rin fans. Be sure to brush your teeth afterwards. And R&R.
1. The Day of Two Kaguras

_INUYASHA'S SHORTS_

_PART DEUX_

_By Ben Da Mad/Sentinel 28A_

_AUTHOR'S NOTES: I've been getting too serious lately. Time for some fun. Plus no one's R&Red _Stand Your Ground._ I can take a hint, folks._

_Today's joke may fall flat if you haven't seen _Azumanga Daioh. _If you haven't, go and watch it! It's good stuff!_

_THE EMPEROR'S JAPANESE TRANSLATION DEPARTMENT:_

_Tatami–_ straw mats used as cushions inside Japanese homes.

_Hanyou–_ half-demon. What Inuyasha is.

_Miko–_shrine maiden. What Kagome and Kikyo are.

_Taijiya–_demon hunter. Sango's chosen profession.

_Shoji–_rice paper. Used for a variety of purposes, including walls.

_Geisha–_female entertainers. Contrary to popular belief, _geisha_ are not prostitutes.

_Baka–_fool. Pretty much the worst thing you can call a Japanese person.

SCROLL ONE: THE DAY OF TWO KAGURAS

Naraku sat crosslegged on a tatami mat, gazing out over the surrounding, barren landscape. Here in his castle, he was safe behind his barrier, which his enemies could not yet break. He finished his tea, thinking of his various enemies.

The hanyou Inuyasha, who was headstrong and stupid, but had Japan's most powerful sword and a growing knowledge of how to use it.

The miko Kagome, who was neither headstrong nor stupid, and whose power was also growing.

The cursed monk Miroku, who, if he did not succeed in killing Naraku, would make sure his children would.

The taijiya Sango, who Naraku had betrayed and used, whose brother he had claimed for his own, a woman who burned for vengeance.

Inuyasha's brother Sesshoumaru, who hated Naraku not for the Shikon Jewel, nor for a curse, but simply because Naraku had dared interfere in his personal business.

And the most dangerous of all, the undead miko Kikyo, for whom Naraku both burned with lust and loathed beyond imagining.

He set aside the teacup and rang a small bell. It was time to start yet another sinister plot, for Naraku was evil and that's what evil people do. The bell would summon Kagura, the wind demoness whose heart Naraku owned. He knew she hated him, but as long as he had that heart, she was powerless to resist him. Naraku smiled, for he knew how to channel Kagura's hatred towards his enemies.

Naraku heard footsteps approaching, and idly wondered why Kagura was being so heavy-footed today. Normally, even he could barely hear the whisper of her passage, for the wind only makes noise when it is angry. His smile broadened, for apparently Kagura was _quite_ angry at the summons, by the thump-thump of feet against wood. The shoji rice-paper wall slid open, not enough to cause damage, but a tad impolitely for Naraku's taste. He waited for a moment, then stood and turned, his kimono rustling slightly as he did so. His eyes were narrowed in annoyance as he prepared to give Kagura a reminder of just who was in charge around the castle. Then his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.

The person who stood there was shorter than the Kagura he knew, and her hair was a shade lighter. Instead of being gathered into an attractive bow as a lady of high class and society would be, it was cut short in ragged chops, framing the woman's–girl, really–face. Instead of Kagura's pink and white kimono, she wore some sort of strange uniform similar to that Naraku had seen Kagome wear, except this one was more of a lavender color, and stopped short of her knees, unlike the green outfit Kagome wore that stopped midway up her thighs and occasionally even shorter. Yes, Naraku had noticed. A half-demon he may be, but he's still a _male_ half-demon. This girl's skin was also tanned a brown deeper than anyone Naraku had seen; it was certainly not the pale skin Kagura favored.

"Who are you?" Naraku hissed, wondering how this person got past his barrier, and if somehow Kagome had gathered reinforcements from her strange time.

"Oh, man, I _am _being impolite. Sorry." The girl bowed. "My name is Kagura."

"You are not Kagura!" Naraku thundered.

The girl straightened up. "Yes, I am! I think I know my own name, thank you!"

Naraku stomped forward and seized the girl by the shoulders. "What have you done with my Kagura, and how did you get in this temple!"

"Ow! Let go of me!" the other Kagura protested. "I just woke up a few minutes ago, and here I was! I heard the sound of a bell, and since it was the first sound I'd heard, I came here!"

"Liar!" Naraku began to shake her. "Tell me, or I'll flay the flesh from your bones!"

The girl decided that reason was not going to get her out of this, so she drove her knee directly upwards into Naraku's crotch, propelled by muscles honed by years of track and swim team practice. Naraku instantly let go and collapsed to the ground, moaning, hands gripped tightly over crushed testicles. Like I said, a half demon he may be, but he's still a male half demon. The other Kagura looked down at him. "I _told_ you to let go of me, jerk. Not even Mr. Kimura touches me." She debated briefly about delivering a kick to the man's face, but he was kind of cute, in a bishonen way. Instead, she turned on one tennis-shoed foot and left the room, still looking for a way out.

Naraku, trying to fight down the blinding pain emanating from his groin, resolved then and there to find and kill Kagome. If she was anything like the similarly-dressed girl he had just met, she was a greater threat than even Inuyasha.

* * *

Several miles and 400 years away, the teenagers of Miss Yukari Tanizaki's class stared at the girl–woman, really–who sat at Kagura's desk. Her skin was pale, her hair done up in a style that had been popular among high-class samurai and geisha a century before, and her pink-striped kimono was definitely out of place among the black uniforms of the boys and skirted uniforms of the girls. They looked away hastily as the woman returned their stares with a pair of nasty-looking red eyes. Collectively, they decided that she must be an observer of Miss Yukari's class, and therefore probably not part of the class, even if she was sitting in Kagura's desk.

This, of course, did not stop Tomo Takino, who got up from her desk and walked purposefully towards the woman in the kimono. She slapped one hand down on the desk. "Hey there!"

Kagura the Wind Demoness raised one eyebrow. "What do you want?"

A more thoughtful teenaged girl might have taken Kagura's icy tone as an invitation to apologize profusely and leave, but common sense was not a pair of words most associated with Tomo Takino. "Just wanted to know who you are, that's all."

"My name is Kagura," the wind demoness replied with steel in her voice.

"Kagura!" Tomo abruptly laughed, a sound remarkably like fingernails across a chalkboard. "You're not Kagura! Kagura's shorter than you, younger than you, and has tan lines! Kagura! Ha, that's funny!"

This Kagura's eyes flared with rage, for Tomo had hit on two sore spots in the space of a half-second: age (Kagura was ageless, but you never ask a woman her age) and tan lines (despite her best efforts, Kagura burned, not tanned). Tomo was good at upsetting people like that.

Kagura rose from her counterpart's desk and looked down on Tomo with an expression of complete anger. "You _dare_ make fun of the wind!" Kagura withdrew two fans from her belt. "For that, you shall die a fool's–"

"Baka?" Tomo interrupted. She closed her eyes and stuck her tongue out, dancing in front of an increasingly enraged Kagura. "Baka! Baka! Baka!"

"Who's a baka?" The door slid open with a slam, admitting Miss Yukari Tanizaki–who, as usual, was late because she had partied all night and overslept. She took three steps towards her desk before the synapses in her brain fired enough for her to realize that all was not normal, even in her class. She leveled a finger at Kagura. "Who the hell are you?"

Kagura slapped Tomo aside with a sweep of the fans. "I am Kagura, Demoness of the Wind!"

Yukari was silent for a moment, then burst into laughter. "Kagura! You're not Kagura! Kagura's shorter than you, younger than you, and has tan lines–"

No one could explain, not even Chiyo Mihama the child prodigy, why the school building they went to had been suddenly leveled by the strongest lateral wind ever measured in Japan.


	2. One's True Purpose

_AUTHOR'S NOTES: Short chapter this time. I really couldn't spin it out more than I already did. Plus it's late and stuff. Me go sleepy-bye now._

SCROLL TWO: ONE'S TRUE PURPOSE

Kanna silently walked down the hallway towards Naraku's chamber, wearing her usual attire of a pure white dress, and her one adornment, a white lily in her hair. This white had nothing to do with purity; in Japan, white was the color of death, and death was something this innocent little girl tended to deal in. Perhaps even now.

She had been summoned. A bell did not announce this fact; she simply knew. Naraku had no desire to remind Kanna of her servitude as he did with her sister Kagura, for Kanna never held any desire to leave her master. In fact, Kanna never seemed to have any desires, period. She was made to serve, knew it, and thought nothing of it.

In her arms, Kanna carried a mirror. This mirror could do many things–trap souls, release them, even absorb weaponry and fire them back at their owners. In her first battle, Kanna had achieved what many foes could not–she had very nearly killed Inuyasha. Only a last, desperate arrow fired by the miko Kagome had kept her, Kagura, and Naraku from finishing the job on the Inu-tachi. The damage to her mirror had irked Kanna, though certainly it never showed on her face. After all, mirrors were not easy to come by in feudal Japan, and even demon magic could only go so far. One part of her, deep down, hoped that Naraku was summoning her to scry on Kagome and her little band of misfits, because, dammit, repairing that mirror had cost money. And Naraku only gave Kanna so much as an allowance. It may have been only a mirror, but it was the only mirror she had.

But if Kagome could grow in power, so could Kanna. And recently, she had gained the ability to look not only around Japan, not only into people's souls, but through time and space itself.

Kanna, of course, showed no emotion as she walked down the lonely hallway. She detachedly suspected that Kagura had gotten the griping side of Naraku's DNA. Or was it Onigumo's? No matter, Kanna decided, it wasn't her place to know. She lived to serve. In fact, as a silent mental command told her, she was on the verge of running late. Almost imperceptibly, Kanna quickened her pace.

She stopped at the threshold of Naraku's private chamber, out of respect and politeness. "I am here," she announced in a voice barely a whisper.

Naraku turned and scowled. "It is about time, Kanna." She said nothing; she had no control over when she was summoned, and she had never been late. "I hope you aren't inheriting your sister's rebelliousness."

"No, Lord Naraku."

"Good." Naraku motioned her to come closer, turning on his tatami mat as she did so. Pain shot up his sides and down his legs, and he gritted his teeth, making sure the ice pack was still settled on his groin. Damn that _other_ Kagura, anyway! It had taken hours for him to recover and undue the damage caused by a rip in time, then another few hours to arrange _his_ Kagura's punishment for daring to crack a smile at his predicament. He was sure that the other Kagura was one of Kagome's compatriots; it meant that the young miko was not only growing in power, but that she also possessed the ability to call in reinforcements from the Time-To-Come at will. That was most disconcerting.

Kanna sensed this discomfort and knew the reason. "Shall I show you the location of Kagome?" she inquired.

"No, Kanna. You know why you are here."

"Yes, Lord Naraku." Somewhere deep in the recesses of Kanna's consciousness, where even Naraku could not sense it, the tiny demon sighed in annoyance. They weren't going to do evil on Kagome after all. They weren't even going to do anything _evil._

The silence of the chamber was suddenly torn by the blare of trumpets, and then the low, sonorous tone of strings and percussion. Naraku leaned back on the mat, his face relaxing from the contortment of pain and annoyance to satisfaction as the lines of text crossed her mirror, and then multicolored panels and shadows of people. The music increased in volume and tempo.

A voice announced from the mirror: "_I think it's time we blow this scene...get everybody and his stuff together...okay, 3, 2, 1, let's jam_."

Naraku reached behind him and drew out a bowl of ramen, slightly tapping his feet to the music.

A white eyebrow twitched ever so slightly, the only reflection of a deep, abiding, inner bitterness at her lot in life. This is what I am, Kanna thought. My true purpose.

Free cable.


	3. Sit Happens

_AUTHOR'S NOTES: Whew, day three and I've still got plenty of twisted ideas. Though I admit I got this one from watching _Slayers. _Don't worry, though (especially you, Inu's Girl)–if you haven't seen _Slayers,_ no big deal, as it has little to do with this story. Also, longtime Rumiko Takahashi fans might recognize a little homage to another character who shares Inuyasha's dubbed voice. Hint, he has this problem with hot/cold water..._

_And thanks especially to Hawker-748, Inu-chan-keh, and Inu's Girl for reviewing! A virtual cookie for you. Enjoy!_

SCROLL THREE: THE DAY THE OSUWARI DIED

It was yet another hot and humid day in the Sengoku Jidai. Perhaps that was why Kagome Higurashi felt particularly irritated this day. Or perhaps it was because it was because she knew she had just bombed a math test. Or perhaps it was because Souta had crashed her bike into the Goshimboku the day before, leaving her without her normal mode of transportation. Or perhaps it was just that "time of the month."

No, Kagome thought, it was none of those things. It was because the firk ding blast hanyou traveling with her was being a royal pain in the butt–her butt, in particular.

It was the usual with Inuyasha. She was gone a mere 48 hours, and when she returned he acted like she had been gone a month. Kagome knew it was because Inuyasha missed her, but he would kiss Sesshoumaru's boots before he would ever admit it. When she called him on it nonetheless, he had given her the usual nose-in-the-air and a "Feh!" before telling her that he merely wanted to get to work looking for the Shikon Jewel. And since then it had been a never ending litany of things to gripe about.

The fact that humans traveled too slow.

The fact that they kept having to stop or drop from heat exhaustion, something that never seemed to bother hanyou.

The fact that Kagome had worn perfume that day, just for Inuyasha, only to have him proclaim that it smelled terrible and that every youkai within a day's travel could smell them coming.

The fact that they were going up a mountain, which made the humans even slower.

The fact that Shippo's presence on the same planet irritated Inuyasha, and he was sure to remind the kitsune of this fact.

The fact that Miroku kept grabbing Sango's rear end, which in turn caused Sango to render him unconscious, which in turn further delayed their journey (here Kagome had to admit that she agreed with Inuyasha).

The fact that Naraku had disappeared, again, and that Kagome couldn't seem to sense him.

The fact that Kagome just _knew_ the two-timing bastard was just thinking about Kikyo every time he looked at Kagome.

And now, he was griping about that they had stopped to eat lunch and put their overheated feet into a cool stream. Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kilala managed to tune him out, but to Kagome the hanyou's voice was enough to drive her insane. She chewed on her ramen and did her best to ignore Inuyasha, but he kept talking. "Inuyasha, are you going to eat something?" she finally asked, figuring that if his mouth was full, he would shut up.

"No, I don't need to!" he shot back. "I ate this morning, and unlike _some_ people, I don't feel the need to stop and eat every five minutes!"

Kagome gritted her teeth. "For your information, Inuyasha, I haven't eaten since last night! We skipped breakfast because a bitchy hanyou wanted to hit the trail before it got too hot!"

Inuyasha should have known by her tone of voice that he was getting very close to her limit, but the heat and his own irritation pushed him beyond the point of caring. "Yeah, and I was right, too! Besides, you could handle skipping a meal or two." By saying this, Inuyasha meant that a little hardship might toughen the city girl. However, Kagome took it to mean that she was gaining weight, which immediately compared her in her own mind to Kikyo (who, being undead and made from clay, would not gain weight, ever), which immediately caused her hand to crush the cup of ramen in pure, unadulterated anger.

"Inuyasha."

Inuyasha abruptly stopped, cringed, and closed his eyes, because he knew what was coming.

"Sit."

Nothing happened. There was no yell of pain from Inuyasha, nor the crunch of bone impacting unyielding earth at high speed.

Inuyasha opened one eye. Kagome, stunned, stood up and turned around, wondering why Inuyasha was still vertical. "I said, sit!" she repeated. Still nothing. She took a deep breath, even as Inuyasha waved his hands at her to stop. "Sitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsit!" she screamed.

Nothing.

"The spell...wore off?" Miroku wondered aloud.

They were all silent for a moment. Then Inuyasha's face split into a wide grin, and he began laughing at Kagome. "HA! Finally! I knew it would stop working someday!" He began to caper around in an impromptu dance. "Ha ha ha! This is great! I'm free! Now I can say what I want to, whenever I want to!" Kagome had gone pale. Inuyasha noticed it and scampered down to dance in front of her, making grotesque faces at her. "'Oh no,'" he mimicked in a singsong falsetto of Kagome's actual voice, "'I can't sit Inuyasha anymore when I feel like it!' Oh, I am going to _enjoy_ this!" He waggled his tongue at her. "Ah ha, Kagome's stupid! Soft city girl! Unpretty tomboy!" Kagome stomped over to where Sango was, her back to Inuyasha. "Oh no, she can dish it out, but can't handle it! Oh no, Kagome's gonna run away from the big mean hanyou!" He followed her, continuing to taunt. "Oh no, Kagome's gonna run back to her mama! Not so much fun anymore, is it–"

"I said SIT!_"_ Kagome whirled, Sango's _hiraikotsu_ firmly in both hands, and brought the end down directly between Inuyasha's ears. The wet _thwack_ of bone against bone caused the other three to cringe. Inuyasha froze, his eyes crossed, and he collapsed to the ground like a falling tree.

* * *

A few hours later, once Inuyasha had recovered and Sango had talked Kagome out of giving Inuyasha permanent blunt force head trauma, the group walked in silence down from the mountain where they had been. Sango and Kagome walked ahead with Shippo, with Kagome occasionally spearing Inuyasha with murderous glances. He would then shrink back behind Miroku. 

"You should have known better," the monk cautioned. "Just because the spell seems to have worn off doesn't mean there aren't other ways to get you to behave. Believe me–" Miroku rubbed his own forehead, where Sango had let him have it earlier for indulging in his favorite pastime "–I know."

"Feh." Inuyasha gingerly felt the knot in his skull. "It's worth it. At least now I can defend myself from Kagome." He ignored her warning look. "What is _with _her today?"

"What's with you?" Miroku replied.

"Nothing's wrong with me!" Inuyasha insisted. Then his eyes turned crafty. "Oh, wait, I get it. It's that 'time of the month,' isn't it?" He noticed the tips of Kagome's ears turning red. "That's it! Ah, so the old legends are true about what happens to women's powers at the 'time of the month'! I thought Kikyo was just making that up because she never could hit me with those arrows!"

Miroku was studying the ground around them. "Actually, I don't think that's the case..."

Inuyasha crossed his arms over his chest, satisfied. "I have a few days of peace a month, then. What a relief."

Abruptly, Kagome's temper blew. She turned in midstep, leveling a finger at Inuyasha. "Damn you, _SIT!"_ To everyone's surprise (Inuyasha's, most of all), the hanyou dived for the ground, headfirst, with the all-too-familiar thunk of body against unyielding earth and the "owww" that quickly followed.

Kagome's face brightened. "Huh, it works again! Kewl! Sit." Another thunk and an exclamation of pain. "Sit." Inuyasha began digging a crater.

Miroku snapped his fingers. "Ah, that explains it!" At Sango's and Shippo's questioning gaze–Kagome was having far too much fun pushing Inuyasha into the ground–Miroku explained. "I thought the landscape looked familiar. This is the legendary Mount Naga. It is a holy mountain, for at the twin summits areplaces where magic cannot work."

"Oh, I see," Sango and Shippo said simutaneously.

Kagome left off from Inuyasha for a moment. "So there's nothing wrong with Kaede's spell."

"I doubt it," Miroku assured her. "It's questionable whether my wind tunnel would even work atop that mountain."

"That's good to hear."

"No, it's not..." Inuyasha moaned. "I'm...sorry...Kagome..."

"That's all right, Inuyasha. Sit. I forgive you. Sit."


	4. Dynamite Rave

_AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yeah, so much for updating every day for a week, but alas, there is this thing called "life" and this other thing called "sleep" that I have to partake in. Feh._

_Anyway, here's scroll four. It's only as dirty as you think it is. Also, for certain people, the title might be a dead giveaway, but my original title–included in the last line of this story–_certainly_ was._

_For those not familiar with the _Slayers_ reference in Scroll Three, the "time of the month" is also the time when female magic-users cannot cast spells in that series (yet another example of the low humor common to _Slayers_). Mount Naga and its magnificent summits are, of course, a reference to the busty spell-caster with the banshee laugh, Naga the White Serpent. Somehow, I get the impression that Miroku would be quite familiar with all things Naga._

_Also, Hawker 748 is doing his job...why aren't you? R&R, dagnabit!_

_THE EMPEROR'S JAPANESE DEPARTMENT:_

_Hiraikotsu–not in this chapter, but in the last one (there was a little confusion). Sango's giant boomerang, made from demon bone (hence its name–"flying bone"). BTW, this weapon, while completely unrealistic from a Japanese historical standpoint, is apparently possible to make today...with modern plastic and balsa wood. (Tip of the Banpei hat to the Special Features on the second Inu-Yasha movie.)_

_"Osuwari"–the literal translation of "sit boy," Kagome's command to make Inuyasha kiss Mother Earth. Another BTW, there is a world of difference between this word and that used to describe sitting down by humans. So there's little chance of Kagome accidentally using this word...unless, of course, she's asleep, without which both Rumiko Takahashi and we fanfic writers would lose hundreds of pratfalls._

SCROLL FOUR: DYNAMITE RAVE

Inuyasha slumped against the wall, panting as he tried to simutaneously cool his body and catch his breath.

Having had no luck for three days finding Shikon Jewel shards, Kagome had returned home for another of her "test" things. Inuyasha had been in no condition to complain, as he had been walking on eggshells after what Shippo referred to as "the day the _osuwari_ died." Most of that time he had spent out of earshot of Kagome, because once he was _in_ earshot, anything he said was likely to earn him a sitting. Several times, he had either resigned himself to death or simply promised to all the gods of Japan that he would never, ever insult, anger, or even remotely annoy Kagome Higurashi again. Inuyasha was quite sure that he was now an expert on the soil–type, gradient, growing potential, and water table–around Kaede's village.

However, Kagome had left some of her books behind in Kaede's hut when she went back to her own time, so Inuyasha had decided to take them back to her. It had been Miroku's suggestion, a peace offering if nothing else. As usual, the monk had been right: Kagome had been very happy that her "math" books had been returned to her, even overjoyed. So they had made up.

But Inuyasha was not expecting this.

He would have been merely satisfied with not being sat through the floor of Kagome's bedroom. At the most, he could have expected a smile and forgiveness from her. She had evidently _quite_ forgiven him for his transgressions on Mount Naga. Oh yes, _quite_ forgiven him, if...this...was any indication. Of course, it had helped that she had aced her math test thingy, so it was to be expected that Kagome would be near euphoric. But to drag him into something like this? It would take some getting used to, though a little exercise was always good for the body, and it wasn't like he wasn't enjoying being with Kagome.

Kagome sighed and leaned back against him. Sweat streamed from her brow, from where her hair was matted to her head. She moved slowly and languidly, also out of breath. "Oh, Inuyasha..." she whispered, almost sleepily. "I've waited so long to do this with you."

_With me?_ Inuyasha asked himself. _Of all the people in her world, she wanted to do this...with _me?Inuyasha was both proud and possessive of Kagome. So, he had been the one she wished to be with all the time after all! He blew out a long breath, relieved and exhausted at the same time. He thought he had blown his chances for sure after Mount Naga.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome mumbled.

"Yeah?" he panted back. _Damn,_ he wondered. _She's so beautiful when she's like this. And she smells so..._well, actually, Kagome didn't smell all that wonderful at the moment, sweaty as she was–as they both were. But it had been he, Inuyasha, that had made her all sweaty. Not anyone else, not even that Hojo guy. Just Inuyasha. He was proud of that fact, that he could give and take as much as she could.

"Let's do it again..."

Inuyasha blinked. Again? That was asking a bit much, even of hanyou stamina. _Kami, the woman is insatiable! We've already done it, what, seven times at least?_ Inuyasha had to admit that he had lost count. It had to have been hours since they had gotten started. Wouldn't her mother be concerned, at least a little? Accidents _could_ happen, even with a hanyou.

"C'mon," Kagome almost begged, "let's go. Let's do it some more."

"Awh, Kagome," Inuyasha replied, hating to admit that he was about done in, but afraid for both his own health and hers, "I don't know if I can. I'm gettin' a headache!"

"I thought that was _my_ line," she chuckled slyly.

"Besides, there's all these people here now. I just don't know if I can do it with all of them watching!"

"Sure you can! It didn't stop you before. Here, let me."

Inuyasha winced in pain. "Kagome, come on, we don't have to put that on, do we?"

"Now, Inuyasha, you know that it isn't safe without something on! Accidents can happen–remember that one time, when I was in school?" He nodded. That _had_ been dangerous. Kagome took his hands, her big, gorgeous brown eyes meeting his yellow ones. "One more time...for me?"

Inuyasha felt himself smiling. "Sure," he replied. Kagome could be a royal pain sometimes, but he had to admit–deep down–that he could never deny her anything for long. "One more time."

Kagome jumped up, clapping her hands like a little girl. "Yay! Eri, Yuka, you've got to check this out!" she called out to the other two girls, classmates of Kagome's, that had joined them.

Inuyasha sighed, got to his feet, crammed down the ballcap that Kagome had crushed over his ears–he hated wearing this, but like Kagome said, accidents could happen, and he didn't need to end up on that television thing again. His calf muscles hurt like Sesshoumaru had just been beating on them repeatedly with Jaken's stick, but he wasn't about to show weakness in front of all these humans.

"Come on, Inuyasha!" Kagome insisted.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, as he moved towards the contraption that Kagome had gotten so hooked on. This Dance Dance Revolution thing was going to be the death of him.

_Death by DDR. Hee hee hee--Sentinel_


	5. The Rites of Spring

_AUTHOR'S NOTES: It's a good thing I'm not being held to a deadline. But anyway, here's Scroll Five, somewhat late, but better than never! Thanks for reading, but give me some reviews! (As always, thanks, Hawker!)_

_And for you Fluffy-fans, Sesshoumaru will finally make an appearance in the next scroll..._

SCROLL FIVE: THE RITES OF SPRING

It was spring in the Sengoku Jidai. Flowers were beginning to bloom, as nature woke up from its slumber during the winter. Farmers began to plant the all-important rice crop that would feed the country, while it grew steadily warmer. The humidity had risen as well, but so far–aside from that unseasonably hot day atop Mount Naga–it had yet to reach the sticky, blazingly hot temperatures that summer would bring.

As the poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson would write (in a few hundred years, except for Kagome, who had read 150 year old Tennyson poems in English class...time travel is not fun to write), spring was the time when a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. In Inuyasha's case, that meant steadfastly denying that he was in love with two women, one of whom had nearly killed him on that infernal DDR device three nights before and now walked shyly alongside him, and the other, whose current whereabouts were unknown, but had _definitely_ tried to kill him on several occasions with arrows.

Shippo was, of course, too young to really understand the concept of love. He thought of Kagome as a surrogate mother, and of Sango as a kind of aunt. Other than that, he found girls kind of strange and frankly icky, though he had enough maturity to recognize that Inuyasha was being a moron.

Which left Miroku, whose thoughts were always turning, rarely lightly and not just in spring, to love. Or to its reasonable fascimile, lust. Normally during this time, Miroku would seek out a village girl, talk to her sweetly and get her blushing and giggling, then ask them if they would bear his child. Usually he got shot down at that point, or run out of the village by jealous suitors of the young women, but Miroku was not unwise in the ways of the world. Lately, however, he had restricted himself, rarely asking "the question." This was due partially to the fact that villages were sparse in this section of Japan, but more to the fact that the monk's heart had been captured by the slim, attractive woman walking next to him.

Miroku glanced at Sango. The taijiya walked demurely, her eyes following the road. As usual, she was clad in her white and lavender striped kimono with its clinging green dress. Miroku preferred the skintight catsuit she wore into battle, since that didn't hide her shapely curves. It always amazed him that a woman of Sango's seemingly slight stature could carry something as heavy as the _hiraikotsu_ boomerang, but she was stronger than she looked. In memory, his cheeks began to tingle.

This was always something of an internal struggle for Miroku. On one hand, the movement of Sango's shapely rear beneath the green fabric was a definite turn-on, reminding him of two small kitsune fighting in a small tent. Certainly _all_ of Sango was attractive, from her sweet-smelling, windblown black hair, to her delicate toes, and everything in between. Yet Miroku admitted to himself that this part of a woman's anatomy most intrigued him; by intrigue he meant "drove wild."

On the other hand, indulging his desire to massage that shapely rear would at the very least earn him a slap. And not just a slight, womanly slap across the face as Kagome might administer, but a rocket that threatened to dislocate his jaw and knock out some teeth. Sango was a warrior after all, raised from birth, and she knew how to hurt people if the situation warranted it. Miroku counted himself lucky that slaps were her chosen form of retaliation, other than the occasional bash over the head with her boomerang. To his mind, that proved that Sango had feelings for him, because she had wanted to permanently damge him, she was quite capable of doing so. She had never resorted to the classic knee/foot to the groin, for instance, or simply drawing her shortsword and running him through in his sleep. Even when he had been unable to control himself when they rode on Kilala, she had never thrown him off the _bakeneko_ or ordered her to fry him. As a matter of fact, Miroku thought, Sango nearly always rode in _front_ of him when they used Kilala to travel, with the full knowledge that Miroku would have to ride behind her, and the full knowledge that he would just have to make a run at her bottom. He dismissed that notion as being merely coincidence or force of habit; surely Sango didn't like for him to rub her butt.

After all, the flush of embarassment and then anger on her face made her so much prettier than she was normally. And that, Miroku decided, made the pain or even eventual death at the taijiya's hands worth it.

Decision made, Miroku nonchalantly reached out with his left hand–the non-cursed one–and gently rubbed the familiar and gorgeous curve of Sango's right buttock, not missing a pace. Sango did, that brief hesitation he knew so well. He watched her face and got the expected flush of surprise and embarassment, then the scowl. Next would come the slight shift of the _hiraikotsu_, the half-turn to the right, and the whirring sound her hand made as it cut the air, and the stinging crack of her calloused palm against his cheek. Of course, none of that was a reason to stop his hand from roaming across her rear end.

But to Miroku's surprise, she did not take the next step after the scowl phase. She simply sighed and kept walking, her eyes now fixed resolutely on the horizon. Miroku blinked in surprise. He increased the tempo of his hand's rhythm, but except for a slight, possibly involuntary quickening of her step, Sango did not react. The monk swallowed and took a chance, allowing himself to squeeze. Sango gave an almost inaudible squeak, but she kept walking.

Miroku stopped squeezing, though he did not remove his hand. "Sango," he said quietly, "what are you doing?"

"Nothing," she replied tightly.

"Yes, I realize that."

She glanced at him sidelong, and her lips curled into an almost cruel smile. "What, you expected me to slap you?"

"Actually, yes."

"Then why did you grab my butt?"

Miroku didn't have an answer to that one immediately. He paused, and then said, "Because I find you beautiful."

Sango's mask of indifference slipped slightly–for some reason, she thought herself unattractive–but then her iron control reasserted itself. "In that case, houshi-sama, I see no reason to stop you."

Miroku's eyes got very large. "You mean...you want me to continue?"

"No, but I won't give you the satisfaction of getting under my skin _or_ my kimono. I ask only that you find some sort of rhythm, because it's very difficult walking with you doing that."

"You won't stop me?"

Sango sighed. "No, because what's the point? I could rip your head off and feed it to Inuyasha, and your spirit would be there rubbing away before your body was cold. So indulge yourself, houshi-sama." Inward, Sango was enjoying the cute confusion on the monk's face. After the last time he had gone on one of these lecherous escapades, Kagome had wisely suggested Sango try some–what did she call it? Reverse psychology. The words were foreign to Sango, but she understood their spirit. Watching Miroku go into a fit trying to figure out a woman's mind was worth a hand or two on her bottom. Besides, it wasn't like Sango didn't enjoy being called beautiful...

Miroku removed his hand. He looked down at his sandals, now suddenly depressed. They walked in silence for a long few minutes, then he murmured, so quietly she almost didn't hear him, "You sure took the fun out of that."


	6. The Most Dangerous Game

_AUTHOR'S NOTES: (bows deeply)_

_I know I'm very late in updating, but you try switching from working all night to getting up early in a 24-hour period. You know you're tired when suddenly surfing the internet for news stories becomes the highlight of one's day. In any case (sigh) here's Scroll Six and the promised Sesshoumaru story. Trust me, it gets tooth-decayingly sweet and fluffy (no pun intended) by the end. _

_Sleep...sleep good..._

_As always, thanks to Hawker, DarklessVasion, and the others who review! _

SCROLL SIX: THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME

"Inuyasha!"

The hanyou whirled around in the middle of the path, his blood turning to ice as he recognized the voice of his half-brother. He cringed at the sight of Sesshoumaru, who as usual was dressed in a spotless white hakama, trimmed in blood red. Sesshoumaru wore night-black armor over the hakama, and his fur wrap thrown over one shoulder. The look on his face was one of pure contempt for the hanyou in front of him. Inuyasha felt that contempt like a physical blow. Compared to Sesshoumaru, his fire-rat fur hakama was threadbare and tawdry.

Despite the knowledge that he stood no chance against his half-brother, Inuyasha drew Tetsusaiga from its scabbard, the magical sword instantly transforming to a wicked blade twice its normal size and width. He held it shakily in front of him and declared, "What do you want?"

Sesshoumaru sniffed, his equivalent to a derisive laugh. "The sword that should have been mine, Inuyasha."

"Well, it's _not_ yours, so bug off!"

"I will be satisfied with your life." Sesshoumaru then drew Tokujin. The sword fairly shimmered with evil and crackled as ice turned to steam as the blade touched the heated air. The sword hummed in Sesshoumaru's hands like a living thing, hungry for hanyou blood.

"I'll cut you down to size!" Inuyasha cried and made a desperate lunge to cut Sesshoumaru in half. His clumsy swing missed easily, mainly because Sesshoumaru moved in a blur. The flat of Tokujin struck the back of Inuyasha's head hard enough to draw blood. He went down, but came back up again quickly with another sweep of Tetsusaiga. Against another opponent, the cut would have been fatal; against Sesshoumaru, it was in vain.

The uneven struggle went on for another few minutes, with Inuyasha screaming and missing, and Sesshoumaru as silent as a grave and occasionally making shallow, but painful cuts across his half-brother's arms and face. Eventually, Inuyasha was nearly exhausted and Sesshoumaru, tired of the game, decided to end it. After one particularly ill-advised overhead swing that only saw Tetsusaiga cut a furrow in the earth, Sesshoumaru sidestepped, turned, and sliced Inuyasha's back to the spine. The hanyou screamed in agony and fell to the ground, Tetsusaiga clattering from his hands.

Sesshoumaru stood over Inuyasha, who squirmed on the ground in terrible pain. It did not help when Sesshoumaru placed a boot on the gaping wound. "Inuyasha, surrender Tetsusaiga," was all he said.

"No!"

Sesshoumaru raised Tokujin high to plunge it through his brother. "Then die–"

"Lord Sesshoumaru! Lord Sesshoumaru! Whatcha doing?"

* * *

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened far wider than anyone had thought possible. He sprang to his feet so fast an after image was left where he had been on all fours in the grass. His facial expression went from gleeful satisfaction to horror to its usual placid state in a matter of seconds as he turned to face Rin. As usual, Rin bounded towards him, all checkered kimono and dirt and matted black hair. She grinned at the youkai. "Lord Sesshoumaru, we went fishing and saw all kinds of stuff and I caught some fishes!" The "we" she referred to was herself and Jaken, who trailed behind her looking sullen and depressed–that is to say, normal. Rin triumphantly held three carp over her head, each one big enough to be devoured in one gulp by even her. Jaken had three larger fish tied to his two-headed staff.

"That's...good, Rin," Sesshoumaru said, inwardly in turmoil. Perhaps she wouldn't get back to what he had been doing. Rin's attention span was not that long, because she was only a child, and perhaps if he continued to play it straight she would not–

Rin tried to look around Sesshoumaru. "Lord Sesshoumaru, what were you doing?"

"I..." For once, he was at a loss for words.

Nearly as fast as he had gotten up from the grass, Rin was ducking around him. "Oh, Lord Sesshoumaru, those are my dolls."

Jaken's eyes bulged more than normal and he looked at Sesshoumaru with a mixture of terror and amusement. Sesshoumaru put his retainer in place with a glacier stare and turned back to Rin, who was picking up and brushing off the little doll of Inuyasha. The one of Sesshoumaru lay against a rock, on which lay a minature version of Rin. Jaken, with more skill and loving care than his master had thought possible, had made the dolls on a whim of Rin's and a direct order from Sesshoumaru. She looked up at him. "Lord Sesshoumaru, were you playing with my dolls?"

Knowing he was caught and deciding to put the best face on it, he looked stern and placed his remaining arm on Tokujin's hilt. "I was not 'playing,' Rin. I was using your minatures to practice effective tactics for the next time I confront my half-brother."

"Oh." Rin nodded knowingly, leaving Sesshoumaru to wonder if she simply didn't believe him or merely accepted the fact that he would use children's toys as battle simulators. Sesshoumaru had killed and killed so frequently that he no longer gave the act much thought; Rin never seemed to have a problem with that, to the point that it actually worried him.

Suddenly, she brightened. "Lord Sesshoumaru," she asked with a bow of respect, "would you play dolls with me?"

Jaken bit his tongue, knowing if he so much as cracked a smile he would die a horrible, screaming death. Sesshoumaru turned as red as his hakama's trim, and was about to respond with a firm "NO!" and a turn of the back. Then Rin smiled up at him, her face all innocence and hope and love. Confronted with that, Sesshoumaru could do nothing but look at the heavens for a moment, wonder if he was being tested, then sigh and nod. "Yes, Rin, I will play with you and your dolls."

"Yay!" Rin ran to him, all propreity and etiquette gone and hugged Sesshoumaru. Deciding to make the best of it, the youkai sighed again, pried Rin off, and sat cross-legged on the ground. He handed her Inuyasha. "Watch closely, Rin, and I will show you the best way to confront and slay a dangerous foe–"

Rin shook her head.

* * *

Rin stood and brushed off her kimono. She walked carefully to the ricepaper door, knelt, opened it, and slid it back. "Welcome home, Lord Sesshoumaru," she said, bowing deeply as her master walked through the entrance. She closed the door, stood, and walked back to the table where she had been a moment before. "I have prepared tea for you, my lord. Do you wish rice as well?"

Slowly, he nodded. "Yes, Lady Rin, I would indeed like some tea and rice."

"I will go make some, my lord. I have some fish."

"Fish would be good."

Rin bowed and went to go prepare the food. "Lord Sesshoumaru, your brother Lord Inuyasha is here. Shall I make some rice for him as well?"

Sesshoumaru fought back a scowl, and at length nodded once more. "That would be fine."

This playing house, the youkai lord reflected, was not going to be an easy test of his nerve.


End file.
